If we were to try silence in prayer, we may discover that the discomfort we feel are the dark parts of our soul rising to consciousness. Our failings, our senses of inadequacy, our regrets come to the fore because we have deliberately chosen to no longer drown them out. It is difficult to sit with these thoughts for long, almost unhealthy to do so. But in a context of prayer, we hold ourselves up for our own introspection and we also hold ourselves up to God. These are aspects of our human condition that we would rather hide from God, from others, and from ourselves. Yet it is better to acknowledge realities, and in the presence of a God and Spirit who is willing to follow us into the depths of our being, the very core of our soul. We will find God forgiving and understanding. Once we get past our discomfort with ourselves and learn to rest in the love and presence of God, the conversation can begin.

I wrote and preached these words this summer.   They certainly held true tonight.

Sometimes the mystical experience is not the blinding white light of joy.
Sometimes the mystical experience is the Holy Spirit convicting you.
Or maybe it's the Holy Spirit letting you do the work of conviction.
But then, there is a reason She is known as the Comforter.
Because it felt like a dark buoyancy.
Forgiveness, love, and comfort.
The womb of God.
Thanks be to God.