Proper 13
Year B RCL |
…Speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every
way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and
knit together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is
working properly, promotes the body's growth in building itself up in love.
If you are like me, you
might cringe every time you read or hear the phrase "speak the truth in
love." I think this is because the main way I run across the phrase is in
blog posts and open letters on social media that take one’s opponents to task
over an issue. And if you are like me, you might have found that what follows
the author’s promise that they “speak the truth in love” is neither truthful,
nor loving. Typically, it signals one
person publically telling another, “if you do not have the same opinion as I
do, it is my task to correct you, and if you do not heed the correction, you
are no longer in community, communion, or have been judged to have left the
faith.” In other words, when someone
decides to write an open letter, and it contains the phrase “speaking the truth
in love,” it is typically said in the context of an ultimatum to change or be
cast away. As a result, there are many
who hear this phrase and wonder if it can be salvaged from its use as a blunt
brutalizing tool that masks disdain at the least and malice at the extreme, all
the while hidden behind solemn tones and counterfeit piety.
There is a longer
conversation to be had regarding the overuse, abuse, and trivialization of some
passages of scripture. The way out of
such situations that seems too easy, however, is to pretend the passages are
not there and consign them to simply being read in worship without comment. That unfortunately leaves the passages to
those who would continue to weaponize scripture against their opponents, and that
will not do. It would also impoverish
our own understanding of what it is we are reading. Every generation is called to the
proclamation of the Gospel in their own time and place, and to find the words
to do so in conversation with sacred scripture. Finding those fresh expressions
of the truth and looking for the world God is bringing forth will necessarily
involve stripping away from our tradition and interpretation of scriptures the
rot that has left by time, by abuse, and by carelessness bred by familiarity.
So, how does one get
beyond the phrase’s abuse? Given that even within Christianity there are
different claims to truth, and that Christians of all stripes at least agree
that the truth should be spoken (and lived!), I'm curious about what sort of
salvaging needs to happen with this phrase, this “speaking truth in love.”
I think the first thing
that needs to happen is to look at our passage from Ephesians in context. What might the author, who may have been Paul
or a disciple of Paul, have wanted it to mean? Throughout Ephesians Paul is
making a case for a mystical unity in Christ that should characterize the
relationship of the church. It is the
type of relationship that breaks down barriers.
The recipients of this letter were most likely Gentile Christians instead
of Jewish believers. Paul is reminding
them that these two distinct people, Jews and Gentiles, two groups who hated
each other in most other contexts would not even deign to eat together, have
become one new humanity, writing that “Christ might create in himself one new
humanity in place of the two, thus making peace, and might reconcile both
groups to God in one body through the cross, thus putting to death that
hostility through it.”[1] Christ brought down the dividing wall. This is the reality of God’s ministry of
reconciliation, and it would have been a shocking image. No one is thrown out. No one is cast aside. Everyone is invited.
Many of the letters we
find in the Bible contain a moral exhortation that stems from proclamation. This
letter is no different and our passage today is the hinge between the theology
and the ethical expectations that flow from the theology. “Through the Cross, Christ has unified ethnic
groups so that peace should ensue and hostilities cease, creating what
Ephesians calls “one new humanity,” which has singular access to God through
one Spirit.”[2] This unity is further emphasized by what it
is that we share: one body, one Spirit,
one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God who is parent of everyone.
And through Christ we are
given gifts, for the purpose of building the body of Christ. But the gifts are
different. Our varied gifts that we have
by the Spirit speak to a unity with diversity.
This is unity without uniformity, and it is a marvelous thing that is
difficult to maintain. It requires every
effort on the part of the baptized to create spaces of grace where diversity in
life and practice are honored. Diversity
here is not just a slogan that one would slap on church sign, or the kind of
diversity that find its expression in a shallow tokenism that pays homage to
difference while shying away from the opportunity to be changed by an encounter
with the Holy one could not imagine before.
We are instead talking about the recognition, acceptance, practice, and
celebration of gifts and people given to the community for the building up of
the body of Christ.[3]
This radical vision of
unity is a reality difficult to live into.
With that Paul’s letter points to necessary elements, one of which is
humility. The necessity for humility
comes from the fact that we all have different gifts that bring us into contact
with varied truths about God’s work in the world. We are finite beings, and no
one has the total picture of God’s work and purpose at any given time. Our
diversity, our gifts and experiences, shows us all aspects of God’s good
purposes; and the call to unity in one body and community is to give us the
ability to listen and discern a truth greater than we can know on our own.
Now--The passage about
speaking truth in love is a part of warning; namely that the Christians ought
to be in the process of “growing up” in faith and truth, and the community must
be wary of attempts pull them to a truth lesser than the vision God has for them
and the world.
What is interesting about
the phrase of “speaking truth in love,” however, is this:
‘Speaking
the truth in love’ is not the best rendering of his expression, for the Greek
verb makes no reference to our speech. Literally, it means, ‘truthing in love’,
and includes the notions of ‘maintaining’, ‘living’ and ‘doing’ the truth.[4]
Following the truth includes
speech and conduct. How else to avoid hypocrisy Christians are so
famous for when we deceive ourselves and do the very things we hate?
No; “Truthing in love”
isn’t simply a matter of talking, it’s also about doing. [5] And truth
cannot be separated from love.
On the one hand, one cannot
simply speak the truth, as though one were a cosmic referee looking to cut
folks down, more concerned with purity than growth in Goodness. Indeed some
find it easy to speak truth, to set others straight on how it is, to verbally
assault others and then feel deserving of a spiritual reward for braving such
enemy territory to deliver truth. Some
people speak truth as a way to show-off or one-up one another.[6] This is speaking truth out of egotism, not
humility. And love is lost in the process.
“On the other hand, others
excel in a type of “love” that produces only warm feelings and smiles, and,
therefore, can neither broach nor tolerate truth. In that case, truth and love are opposing
forces are opposing forces, and truth must lose.”[7] This is not good enough, for a multitude of concrete
harms to others can occur because of the confusion of nicety and politeness for
love and kindness.
Both truth and love are
necessary and symbiotic to create a community that is unified and grounded in
goodness while seeking to be a vision of God’s reign among us. Both truth and love are necessary for our
life together among each other, and they are gifts we offer to a world.
So how do we translate this
into life today? How do we speak truth in love, or rather, grow into being
truth in love? How do we avoid the
pitfalls of speaking truth without love, or refusing to speak when something
should be said in both our personal relationships and our life in this world?
I think one interpretive
key is to look at the description of love 1 Cor. 13(4-7), and refresh ourselves
on what love looks like:
Love
is patient and kind; is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or
rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice
at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things.
It turns out the passage
isn’t just for weddings!
To remember what love
would look like, it may be worth taking a look at this passage whenever we feel
that it is time to speak a truth to someone.
Love will listen, love will hope that truth comes out, love will seek
the substance behind our perception of the surface level in humility and care.
Relationship matters. Remember,
the theme of author’s thought in this letter is unity. Speaking truth in love is not found in making
an ultimatum that holds the relationship hostage to the other’s recognizing the
truth, or failure to do so. It may mean
that when we speak the truth we discover, or the truth is not recognized, we
maintain relationship as much as possible, short of being complicit in the harm
we see occurring in personal relationships or our life together in this world. In other words, there is a duty to hope for
redemption, for we follow of God of second chances, even infinite chances as we
make our walk toward a truth more perfectly known.
So far, I’ve talked about
this phrase in its more punitive uses.
But, look, there is something
else that needs to be said about speaking truth in love. Paul frequently wrote about the need for
encouragement. Sometimes, speaking the
truth in love may include helping someone remember the love God has for them
when they forget it. Or a word of thanks
for a particular gift they bring about in the world.
So, where might you see an
opportunity to be truthful in love, in action and in word?
When you are confronted by
the need to say something both true and painful, how might you do so to heal,
and not to hurt the other?
May our discernment of
truth and love lead us closer to the purpose of God.
[1]
Eph 2:15-16.
[2] Jaime
Clark Soles, “Ephesians 4:1-16, Homiletical perspective” in Feasting on the Word, Year B, Vol.
3, 307.
[3] This
paragraph largely follows and borrows phrasing from Richard F. Ward, “Ephesians
4:1-16, Homiletical perspective” in Feasting
on the Word, Year B, Vol. 3, 307.
[4]
John Stott, quoted by Dan Wilkenson (http://www.patheos.com/blogs/unfundamentalistchristians/2015/07/speak-the-truth-in-love/)
and confirmed in The Interpreters Bible,
Vol. 10, pg. 694.
[6] This
paragraph largely follows and borrows phrasing from Jaime Clark Soles, “Ephesians
4:1-16, Homiletical perspective” in Feasting
on the Word, Year B, Vol. 3, 307.
[7] Jaime
Clark Soles, “Ephesians 4:1-16, Homiletical perspective” in Feasting on the Word, Year B, Vol.
3, 307.
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