Calling

Two Sundays ago in the lectionary was story of Samuel's call to serve God. Calling is frequently the theme for the sermons on that particular Sunday and All Saints' in Mobile and St. A's in Tempe were no exceptions.

From Rev. Mary

“How do you know you are called to be a priest?” You will have to answer that very question or some variation of it more times than you can count. There’s the Bishop. Every person on the Commission on Ministry. Friends. People at church you know well, and people you hardly know at all. The psychologist you have to talk to as part of the entrance requirements for seminary. Every member of the faculty, every semester, for your evaluation. The psychologist you have to talk to as part of the graduation requirements to get out of seminary. The Commission on Ministry when they approve you for ordination. The priest and maybe the Vestry at your first job. Almost every job after that...When I was asked the question for the first time, I stumbled through what I thought was a totally inadequate explanation of my call, but with only slight deviation from my first answer, I have said the same thing for the last 33 years – sure I am doing what I should be doing, but not really sure how I know it.

From Rev. Gil

...We, the community, are the incarnation of God in the world the Church is the presence of God’s action in the world. The community calls people out for service. The Church calls people out for service. Just this week the Commission on Ministry in our Diocese affirmed our community in hearing that one of our own is called out to be Deacon, God willing... Not only does the Church call out people to be Bishops, priests and deacons, but also all of us are called into the priesthood of all believers. We are all called to serve the altar and care for the people of our community. God continues to call.

I am trying to answer the Question (capital Q) Mary mentioned: “How do you know you are called to be a priest?”

I don't exactly know. It isn't a very reassuring answer to give, especially when something so otherworldy could have profound consequences on the lives of me and my wife. I certainly identify with Mary when she says her answers at first felt inadequate.

Still I think I've closed in on one aspect of why I feel called. I feel what seems to be a irrepressible draw to the Altar, which feels a bit like walking a labyrinth. It started with me, in my childhood, bi-yearly sitting in a Baptist church with a small piece of bread (a Christ-chex looking-thingie) and a shot glass of grape juice, to my first Communion in an Episcopal church (Dec. 24, 2006) which started my weekly partaking, to bringing forth the element at my Confirmation (Nov. 4, 2007), to serving the altar at St. A's and taking Communion at least twice (frequently thrice) a week. I feel more complete on God's side of the rail even though I'm still not quite sure what happens there. I want to be closer still, but I'm as far as I can go without taking Orders in this Church.

(I think part of my discomfort at being home over the holiday was that I missed such frequent Communion. I don't know an Episcopal priest high-church enough to hold daily Eucharist, and I can't commune in a RC Church.)

It isn't just Communion either, I also think highly of the other six sacraments of the Church. That will be another post.

I know there is much more to the vocation of priest and I feel ready to take on those duties, but I find the sacramental nature of the work very attractive.