I’m getting a growing sense of distance friends due to what I perceive to be a greater amount of maturity on my part. I’m a married man now, but even before then my friends were doing things that I would not join them in. I’ve never had any real desire to drink until the sun rises, and I am a man of quiet habits.
The most distressing event over the break in this respect was a night out with a few friends and my sister and her husband. We were going out, when a friend, whom I’ll call Ed, offered to drive. While I don’t have a squeaky clean driving record, his driving has scared me in the past. I offered to drive, to which he replied that his driving had improved. This was without me mentioning my dis-ease with his skills. I took his word for it only to be disappointed. I don’t remember him being so reckless. He was going 65 mph in a curvy 40 mph zone, passing without using a blinker and straddling the lane line. If it had been only me, I’d be slightly annoyed, but my wife was with me and I was quietly outraged. We were able to leave the festivities with my sister’s ride, avoiding riding with him again. I’ll not ride with him again.
Since I’m thinking about priesthood, I was often invited to give blessing at meals, including the big Christmas lunch. I did so, giving thanks for the food, friends and family, and a remembrance for those less fortunate. As soon as I was done with my direct 30-second-long blessing, a friend admonished me to keep it under five seconds. My Mom told him to not be flippant and I let it roll off since it was a joke; he wasn’t the only one in the room and others needed to hear it for a variety of reasons even if it inconvenienced him.
Maturity aside, another reason for a growing distance my family, friends and me is my immersion in a different denomination. I almost speak another language with the Episcopal Church. My Mom has asked if we have an “Episcopal Bible” and she has asked me about saints, particularly my patrons. I can’t really explain the intricacies of trying to be a monastic to her since the concept is pretty foreign in the Baptist denomination. It is a completely new vocabulary. Dad gets a little bit of it with his Catholic background.
My family joined us for the Sunday after Christmas. Yay, baptisms! It was a good service but I prepared myself for what I saw coming. I came home apprehensive about a possible theological showdown. Would I have to defend progressive Christianity? I didn’t really. But my sister did mention, at my asking, doubt in the sincerity of the Anglican style of worship. I expected this and I appreciate her honesty, though I dislike the implication that I am locked in a dead style of worship. I understand, though, that the formal liturgy does not work for some. What she didn’t know was that there were probably some in the congregation that were not totally pleased with the wording of the service. Jim and Mary were using a West Syrian Rite from the 4th Century instead of the standard Eucharistic prayers from the Book of Common Prayer; they had the bishop’s approval. So, my sister (a Baptist) saw dead ritual where some long-time Episcopalians may have seen an aberration from the rubric. God speaks different languages.
The greatest surprise on the family/theology front was that the only thing my mom says that she did not agree with is actually in the Nicene Creed! The line is “I believe in the holy, catholic, and apostolic Church…” When she reads small-c catholic, she thinks Roman Catholic instead of “universal,” as the word is actually meant. She didn’t know what apostolic was.
But my family is supportive. My Mom doesn’t understand the language, but she wants me to order her a Book of Common Prayer (done) and she wants me to be sure I’m called by God. My sister is supportive in their way, humor.
“Would I have to call you ‘Father?’ Because I won’t!”
You won’t.
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